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I finally summoned enough courage to put this up after giving it so much thought. This period is a really trying time for me and my family, having recently lost my kid brother. It’s really painful but what can I do other than move on with life and always hope for the best.

So he passed away three days ago after an illness not even as much as all he has been through in the past years, he had sickle cell anemia and was 19 May this year; I only got to know yesterday though.

I guess writing this is a little relief for me as I get to pour out my feelings without restriction and also to a family that has become a part of me in the past few years (You).

Guess what? I never even got to say goodbye!!

I’ve cried my eyes out to a point where I can hardly find the tears anymore and I just have to move on; at this junction, I’m completely short of words and all I can say is I really do need some help, admonitions and encouragement.

Got some scriptures I can read through, some advice, whatever; please do share with me in the comment box. I look forward to reading from you guys.

 

26 Comment

  1. Oh no dear, so sorry about your loss. I never knew…May God comfort you and your family…

    1. Thanks so much Debs, you’re such a wonderful sis ☺

  2. Sorry dear am sure Gods plan for us is of good and not of evil , and he will forever be dat same God dat knows all and sees all. May d Lord comfort u n ur family

    1. Thanks so much Dimeji, I really appreciate it

  3. Dear Alara, I Am so sorry to hear of your loss! No one can assuage your grief, nor truly understand how you feel. However, you may be comforted in the knowledge that there is life after death and he is only a thought away. If you request it and are observant, he can give you signs that you can be sure to recognize as coming from him, that he is still with you. I AM holding you in my HEART and sending you the sweet healing Light to ease your way. From my HEART to your HEART in Love, Betty.

    1. Thank you Betty, it’s so soothing and encouraging reading this from you

  4. Alara, I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences. I lost my brother when we were kids so am feeling empathy and sympathy for you. It hurts a lot, I know. If it’s any comfort to you, i feel that their presence is still with us and that they can still hear our thoughts.
    Write out your feelings – that helps too. Also if you can, find a grief support group. Take care…💕

    1. Thanks so much ma’am, I’ll take your advice and write down my feelings

  5. I love you. ♥️
    I lost your website for a while to be honest, but only to find it at the right time. Life..:)
    Alara…
    please, be sad, for as long as it takes. Allow your body to feel whatever it is feeling right now even if the feeling is strange, “inappropriate”, or whatever other adjectives .

    After my accident..,in 2015, i was partly traumatized, and some advised i seek help to hasten all recovery, but deep down, i knew, i knew myself, i knew i was strong and i’d do it on my own- no expert neededx i’d cry myself to sleep, hell yes, even my parents dont know that or my best of friends. I’d look at the mirror at my disfigured face and limbs and i’d have fights in my head with that heartless ** driver that hit me and how he had the “right” to touch my health, my figure, my health, my life and transform it like he did… i spent months alone, santing to be alone, watching movies, netflix day n night to hide away from my reality. During all that, i allowed myself to be sad and angry , lazy, non-communicating.,and evthng i felt i allowed myself to feel, no being hard on myself or making the effort,

    but then, at the right time, life took its flow and some people around me spread ideas/messages to my head, until i agreed to attend some university workshops just to kill some of my recovery time. I started attending and then i had my life lesson: we grow through others.. truth was , i recovered through others Alara, sharing my story, my recovery, my ups and downs during recovery brought people on board like a magnet!

    Also, the first death i ever had to deal with was my granny’s back in 08. And… i spent time weeping in the bathroom, i wouldn’t want to come out from my room or anywhere reall; i refused to talk to others… mum today says i was a complete wreck.
    But, even then, i got back on my feet, why?
    People around me still on this earth loved me. They are the ones still there. They are here for me and the least i can do is see them, really see them and let them know that i do.
    Alara, we pass to this earth only once, right? You’d want to be able to impact the life of every one person you meet, with a word, an act of kindness, a text, poem, a blog post..,
    You’ve done this with me… since i met your blog, young lady, and you must keep doing it so youcannot stop living. Find strength in your love for him, you didn’t really lose him because love comes from the heart, not the physical presence alone.
    He knows.. he knows what he meant to you, angels always know. ♥️

    1. I love you too, you can’t even begin to imagine what your comment has done to me. It’s really timely. I’m learning to live each day at a time. For the last few weeks since the incident, I suddenly lacked inspiration to do anything including what I love doing the most which is writing. I’m picking up my own back and learning to stay strong each passing day

      1. You are left with what u exactly need to make it in this life, every time, even if u had to start over, countless times.
        … (a premature peak into my next post, prompted by the strength of ur words i just read.)
        All my love,
        Joy

        1. This is really great, I look forward to reading it

  6. I ddnt get to say many goodbyes too… you still have today:) for as long as u are alive

    https://wegrowthroughothers.wordpress.com/2016/03/13/losing-a-friendhow-to-think/

    1. Thank you so much for sharing the link with me, helped a lot.

  7. Alara, My condolences. I am sorry for your loss.

  8. This is a really difficult time for you right now and the right words are really hard to find. Keep your hope in God and your heart stayed on him. He will comfort you with his arms of love. (Matt5:4) My condolences.

    1. Thanks so much, I appreciate your concern

    2. Thanks so much for your soothing words, so much appreciated

  9. So sorry Alara. I pray that God’s peace will soothe you and His warm hands comfort you.

    1. Amen, Thank you ☺

  10. […] Personally, I’ve been a victim of depression at several stages of my life. At times, it’s mild; more like a short moment of overwhelming sadness and all of a sudden, it’s over. Other times, it’s much worse and can go on for as long as forever. It’s really horrible when someone close passes on. […]

  11. I’m so sorry to hear this Alara, I genuinely know that it must hurt a lot, maybe not how much it hurts, but that it does hurt. I pray that you find strength to go through this trying times and coming out tops. it’s completely okay for you to grieve. I would love to be help if you ever see any way I can. be strong Alara, it might not feel like it at the moment, but you’re a hero

    1. Thanks so much for your kind words. Really appreciate it

  12. I’m so sorry Alara. I pray God gives you the strength, a loving and calming arms you can rest on this crucial time.

    Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

    Accept my condolences dear.

    1. Thanks so much Lara, the verse is really helpful

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