Where are my darling blog readers? My favorite people, the ones who are always ready to listen and read me at all time. Let’s talk about dating today. I almost went MIA ? You know I can’t do that to you, just kidding.
I’ve been carried away with the frenzy of my birthday. Yes, I was a year older on Saturday and I felt like a baby…the calls and prayers were all amazing and I felt 16 again. Don’t be deceived, I’m really growing old fast and I’m scared!
In this part of my country Nigeria, the older you get, the more consistent the question of marriage is asked. That question really get me edgy and I want to go back to being 21. Like, is marriage by age??? I’m officially tired, to be honest.
I’m definitely going to get married, someday. But until then, can I enjoy my single and datinglife in peace please?
Thank you ?
By the way, that’s me feeling so pretty on a Nineties Tee! Yeah, I’m a ninety baby girl! ’90s baby are the best yet! ’80s are too old, ’20s are too young but we are the most fabulous ?
So, today I’m really going to talk about an issue that has been bugging me. I actually did share a similar post when I started blog. You can read Wack Communication Begets a No-Relationship.
There’s an amazing announcement at the end, so you may have to enjoy this over an ice cream cup and popcorn…
Guys, this is for you!
It’s about time you people stop trying to get a girl with your dry lines and more like a military approach. You can’t get a girl by trying to guilt trip her into dating you…No! Don’t try that please.
Lemme go into it proper before I get on a rant rampage ?
1. Get to know her. Stalk her if possible. Don’t just start with the cultural tell me about yourself. Jeeez! I hate that line personally. Who has time to be writing a CV each time she meets a new guy? Social media has made stalking very very easy. If you dunno her social media handle, google her name. It’s not only celebrities that are on social media please. If you don’t believe me, google search your name right now…
That done, you must have been able to get her social media handles. Read through. Know how she respond to people’s comment. The kind of posts she shares. Her friends. In fact, stalk her friends too, they will help you to know her more through their posts too.
You should be able to get all this fact in a day or two if you have time.
2. Comment on her post. Please don’t spam her o! From time to time, not every time, leave related comment on her posts. Don’t go to the DM yet please. Wait for her to acknowledge by liking or responding.
This may take time. Some girls get similar attention from like 100 guys. While you are at it, work on your own page too. Take down dumb posts and comments. First impression they say matters.
Truth is, while these ladies may ignore your posts, they are checking out your pages ?? We stalk too.
If what she sees interests her, she would respond with so much joy sef, you’d be awed.
3. The DM. Your first message in that DM will go a long way to determine if you guys will ever connect or date. Avoid Hi, Sup, Wassup, Can I meet you, Hey girl, Hello pretty, Good morning, Hey and all those cultural way of introduction. They have become boring.
Try another approach.
“Your writing skill is impressive. I freelance sometimes too. Can we do a collabo?”
“I admire your entrepreneur spirit. It is unique. Could you share what makes you thick?”
“I know a friend who also work at your office. You guys are so industrious.”
“Never knew you are a student of OAU. My sis graduated from there too or my sis is a student too.”
“I have a friend that could help you design a logo for your brand, you would love it”
“You share the same date with my mom.”
Okay, while this may not really move a lady or may sound too forward. You may do some interesting greetings before throwing these in. But shy away from those conventional one word introduction. And please do not lie. She will remember. No lady want to be caught dating a guy who lies.
4. Her Response. Before a lady will reply, she would go through your profile. Even if she has before, she’d do so again. If she doesn’t like you, she’d never reply or answer in the most sarcastic way ever.
If she respond politely, congratulations. You are on your way to level 2.
If she doesn’t. Please free her and try again later. She may have just started a relationship or not in the mood for such chats then.
If you try again and she still doesn’t respond, let her go. She is not interested. Move to your next crush.
If she respond, then let’s proceed…
5. Spice up the conversation. Make her comfortable with you. Talk to her. Let her share with you. Please listen first before sharing all your life problems with her. Ladies love to talk. Be ready to listen. And take note. The day she realizes you forgot a vital information she shares with you, may mark the end of your new budding friendship.
Listen to her and try and ask her question. Just because I say listen doesn’t mean you should play dumb. Be free with her. Ask her how her day goes and joke about it too. Talk. Listen. Laugh
6. She’d ask for your number. Well, not every lady will do this. But some will want to chat more on WhatsApp or more flexible chatting Apps that will require phone numbers. So be happy when she ask. Pop a champagne that night!
And if she doesn’t ask, ask politely. If she gives you…oh dear, we are close to the goldmine!
7. Play the boyfriend. Now you have all you want. She’s your friend, gist partner and whatever bond partner you guys have created. Now play the boyfriend role. You don’t have to be one to act like one.
Call her. Be the first person she speaks with everyday and last. Be her best friend.
Mind you, relationship never enter here o.
8. Date. Ask her out on a date. A date doesn’t mean you both are dating o, ehn ehn. Don’t attempt to misconstrue it please. A date just mean you want to go beyond the walls of phone and meet your e-friend over a plate of food and some drinks.
Don’t try to pop up the dating question there except she brings it up and be very clever with your answer.
Be nice, gentlemanly and be yourself. Let her have an idea of who you really are. If you like, go there and be forming.
9. She’d ask the Golden Question. Ah, we ladies don’t joke with that question. You have played your cards well and everything is going well. But you both are yet to get to that, “I love you” levels as everyone is taking their time to be certain.
The day a lady is certain she’s cool with you and you are yet to ask, she’d ask. While all may not, most will.
“So what are we now? Are we dating?”
Yeah, now you can have a big smile and answer the question!
Whew! This must be the longest post have ever typed in a long time ? but it was fun.
So over to you, ladies and gents, which part did I miss? What difficulty do you think may arise in between all these? Let’s discuss in the comment section.
P.S: I am not a relationship expert and the above may not happen in order of sequence.
And if you have enjoyed this post up to here then, it’s cool to announce to you that your girl has published a book! Yes, I have ? You can call me an author now shoulder up
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